Posted by JKF

I'm the parent of an 11 year old son with learning disabilities, and ADD. I
speak from experience.

Many people do not understand learning disabilities. They don't know that
these kids' brains function in a different way, (not necessarily from brain
damage). For my son, it may be inherited, as his dad is very similar. My
son is also lefthanded and an only child. Anyway, for whatever reason, he
has problems learning how to read, write and spell. Social interactions are
a puzzle. He has no close friendships. He worships nintendo, playstation,
computer, dog and cats. He's isolated from peers.

I don't know what came first (chicken or the egg...) but he has behavioral
problems, particularly at school. He has extremely low self-esteem, doesn't
understand social behavior rules (touches other kids, ignores personal space
boundaries, etc.) and says he is stupid. Of course he's not stupid, and has
an above average IQ. But, he's in 5th grade and reads at 1st grade level.
Spelling is worse. He's on a speech IEP because he is hard to understand.

I believe (and recent studies by NICHD and others) the school failed my son
by inadequate instruction. They did not teach him phonetical awareness;
instead they placed him in whole language instruction. This lack of
phonetical ability caused problems with decoding words.

Really, shouldn't behavioral problems be expected in this situation?
Behavior, good and bad, exists for a reason. For my son, he wants to evade
classroom instruction and demonstrations of inadequacy.....classroom
instruction, more often then not, points out discrepancies and differences.

My son is not destructive, and we are a loving, supportive, middle class
family. But, we have run into the stereotypical opinions reflected in your
post. Somehow, parents are blamed for unusual displays of frustration,
anger and resentment. Kids are called "disturbed." You bet my son is
disturbed! My husband and I are disturbed too. Anyone would be disturbed!

The school states behavioral problems cause educational problems. They say
behavioral problems interfere with their ability to teach our son. They say
we should "trust them" and agree to their ideas about behavioral
modification.

I don't agree (as evidence by the last four years of "trust" which resulted
in more failure...). I think his behavioral problems were caused by
inadequate, ineffective classroom instruction. Year after year of dismal
failure, added to the problem of falling further and further behind peers in
academic achievement, would cause problems in anyone.

I'm not going to make excuses for bad parenting skills. There are BAD
parents out there. I have personally seen BAD parenting skills in my
career. But, educational professionals often use it as a wide brush, they
make assumptions, condemnations, categorizations, conclusions... There are
many kids, with solid home support and love, who flounder at school. The
common denominator is SCHOOL.

Financial cut-backs, political in-fighting, ego interference, power
struggles, suppression of uniqueness and individuality, intolerance for
differences, .... the list goes on and on. There is not a simple answer.

I wish you luck, as you consider a career in education. Please do not paint
with a broad brush, and appreciate the struggles, dreams and histories of
your students and their parents.

As a parent of an LD/ADD son, I feel like a war survivor......(although I'm
still in the trenches...). Ignorance, assumptions and negative attitudes
are rampant in some people's minds. We struggle to communicate and build
bridges. Together, we must understand the problem, and our personal
responsibility to improve life for all children.

It truly does take a village to raise a child. (Think social sercurity
(FICA) payments which will subsidize your retirement, along with pensions,
401K plans, mutual funds, IRAs, SEPs, junk bonds...).

Thanks for listening to the ramblings of a concerned parent. Learning
disabilities DO EXIST. Learning differences can cause tremendous problems.

jkf

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